he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
