just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
