When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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