I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You're like the curious george of whores
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
