ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Can i not drive my cunt home
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
