Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
