All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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