Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
