Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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