Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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