I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
