She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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