As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
