We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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