used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
