just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
