I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
