Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
