i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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