that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
