Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
