my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I won't apologize to a one balled man
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
