I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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