Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
