It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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