In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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