In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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