Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i now understand why vodka
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
