Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
