I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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