Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
