What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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