I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
