I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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