She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
