so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
