Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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