Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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