WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
