Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Do you need to be saved?

(847): View more from Illinois

No I think I'm God

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

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(502): View more from Kentucky

All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.

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(512): View more from Texas

I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...

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(734): View more from Michigan

Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week

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(607): View more from New York

I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead

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