this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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