I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
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