I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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