And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Farmville is her only friend.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
