Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
