do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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