she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i've created a new STD.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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