Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
