had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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