grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
