I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
